What Happens When Your Partner Keeps In Touch With Their Ex?


Is it okay to be in touch with your ex? Do you have a partner who keeps in contact with their ex? How does it affect your relationship? Let me tell you what happens when your partner keeps in touch with their ex.

Relationships can be complicated and sometimes, emotionally frustrating. Therefore, sometimes, even after a brutal breakup, some people just cannot cut off their ex-partners from their lives. This makes their lives relatively more complex as in some cases their current partners might not take it in a good way.

There have been many studies recently on this particular topic. Questions like, “is it okay to keep in touch with your ex?” and “what goes on in people’s minds when they keep in touch with their exes?” have been of central importance in such studies. Many couples relating well to these questions have been interviewed to gather more information on this subject.

Let’s discuss some of the essential questions associated with keeping in touch with the ex-partner.

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This Is What Happens When Your Partner Keeps In Touch With Their Ex

Keeping in touch with an ex while in a relationship with someone else can be a sensitive issue. A variety of reactions have been recorded among couples when interviewed individually. But, the answers can be broadly classified into the following descriptions:

1. Your Present Partner May Feel Okay

Some people find no issue with their partner’s maintaining contact with their ex. They believe it should be kept aside in such cases. If someone is with them, it is clear that they value their current partner more than the other person. So, they can maintain contact with their ex-partners because a failed relationship might succeed as a friendship or other platonic relationship.

2. Your Present Partner May Require Honesty and Transparency

In some cases. people are quite open about their friendship with their ex and present partner. This transparency helps keep both relations within healthy boundaries. Present partners think it is okay to be in touch with their ex if they are honest about their expectations of both people.

3. Your Present Loved One May Feel Uncomfortable

Some people find it a bit uncomfortable and insecure when their partner is in contact with an ex, even if it is purely platonic. Thoughts of comparison and judgment trouble them most of the time.

4. Your Present Boyfriend/Girlfriend May Not Be Okay At All

What happens when your partner keeps in touch with their ex

Sometimes relationships turn toxic as your partner is not okay with you keeping in touch with your ex. They might become totally jealous, insecure, or mentally disturbed by your dynamics with your ex. This can cause a serious problem for the present relationship, and things like this should be mutually discussed between the partners.

The above answers give us a picture of what people think in such a case. There can be psychological explanations behind people keeping in touch with their ex.

What happens when your partner keeps in touch with their ex: Psychological Reasons

Keeping in touch with former love partners is very typical. What transpires, however, when you start a new relationship? How do you think you would balance the two? What goes through their minds in such a circumstance?

Here are four psychological explanations for why people frequently maintain contact with their ex:

1. You Still Have Feelings For Your Ex Girlfriend/Boyfriend

This is one of the most common reasons why people would look back at their past relationships and keep in contact with an ex. You might never entirely recover from your previous relationship.

This occurs when a relationship ends due to a unilateral decision or when you are not mentally prepared to move on after your ex has departed. As a result, even after starting a new relationship, you tend to miss your ex and would jump at the chance to contact them.

2. A Larger Part Of Your Social Life Still Has Your Ex Involved

This is the part of the scenario when your ex was quite active in your former social life. Friends, family members, and coworkers all know your ex better than your current partner. Even the pals come from the same society.

Furthermore, your ex could have been a neighbor or someone close to a relative. In such instances, you tend to maintain communication with your ex to maintain social balance and avoid breaking any other platonic connections you may have had with them.

3. You See Your Ex As A “Backup” If The Current Relationship Fails

This emotion is related to someone’s unease or doubt regarding their compatibility with their current partner. People might sometimes maintain contact with an ex because they consider the ex to be a potential backup partner.

In such a case, the person may be less satisfied and not give their current partner everything they want. It may be tough for them to cope with the altered manifestations caused by being with someone other than their ex. This is a result of imagining scenarios about the “good times” with their ex.

4. Your Friendship With Your Ex Is Stronger Than With Your Current Partner

Maybe the ex-partner might have used to be best friends or childhood buddies who had fallen in love and tried a relationship. Unlike their friendship, their romantic relationship didn’t seem to work well.

Therefore, they ended up separating ways. But why would they give up being besties like before? Here, their friendship with their ex is stronger than their relationship with their current partner.

What happens when your partner keeps in touch with their ex: Effects On Present Relationship

Some people have expressed being okay with their partner or spouse keeping in touch with an ex, but in most cases, people do not take this well enough. Keeping in touch with your ex can trigger a handful of negative vibes if your partner is not okay with it. The most adverse effects are as follows:

1. Your Partner Feels Insecure About The Relationship

Keeping in touch with an ex can trigger all sorts of insecurities in your present relationship. Your partner could assume that you aren’t content and happy with them right now, which is why you’re remembering the past. It puts the other person in a state of mental unrest, which might slowly become toxic for the relationship.

2. Your Partner Feels Jealous Constantly Because You Keep In Touch With Your Ex

Jealousy is the most common outcome of a situation like this. It doesn’t matter if your ex was not good-looking or wasn’t as talented and loving as your present partner – jealousy has its way of destroying people’s mental peace. It might even trigger traumatic experiences or any other mental difficulties of your partner incurred from their past.

3. Your Partner Keeps Comparing With Your Ex

You choose to be miserable the moment you begin comparing your relationship with your ex. This could lead to your partner tangled in her unrealistic expectations of your relationship even though you don’t compare them. 

4. There Are A Lot Of Misunderstanding Because Of Keeping In Touch With Your Ex

when your partner keeps in touch with their ex

The worst-case scenario is the birth of misunderstandings in your relationship. All sorts of problems can arise from this point, just because you decided to keep in touch with your ex. Your present partner might think you’re cheating on them with your ex, keeping them as a casual partner or even worse – you are using them to move on from your feelings for your ex!

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Conclusion on what happens when your partner keeps in touch with their ex?

People like to believe that their exes are truly just friends and that the old relationship has lost all of its romance. After all, you should realize that you once loved this person and thought the relationship would last forever from the beginning.

You can never forget the interactions they had with their ex. Therefore, talking to an ex while in a relationship will just make things worse for you. Therefore, it is advised to avoid thinking about the past.

However, for some people, their friendship with their ex means more to them than a failed relationship, so they are perfectly okay with staying in touch. Therefore, the answer cannot be a “yes” or a “no”. It depends from person to person and their reasons.

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